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While it is painful to even think about, you’ve started to have this nagging suspicion in the back of your mind that your husband may be cheating on you with an escort in Bolton . Whether he heads out late at night to run ambiguous errands, comes back home and immediately heads to the shower, or returns home appearing to have already showered at a different location — these are the signs that led you to believe your husband may be engaging in extramarital infidelity with a Bolton escort.

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What is important to know with this type of activity, in general, is that seeing an escort agency in Bolton is not usually one of the first steps of extramarital infidelity. If your husband has been, in fact, seeing an escort — there is a good chance that he has a history of unfaithfulness to one degree or another. As an example, before man would visit a local Bolton escort, it is likely that he has a history, generally a long history, with pornography in general. In addition to viewing pornography, there is also the chance that these men have used various websites, such as married but looking websites, adult chat rooms, escort websites, and so forth, before they have actually met up with an escort agency in Bolton .

However, because men who visit Bolton escort agencies oftentimes have a long history of deviance from their marital vows, online infidelity investigation services can help to uncover both the types of websites that your husband has visited as well as potentially catching them trying to solicit an escort.

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Recovering from a sex addiction requires adhering to a 12 step program. Such programs have become synonymous with people's efforts to change their lives and behaviors, and have been applied to everything including over-eating, sex, compulsive gambling, and drug addiction.

The original 12 step program was published by Alcoholics Anonymous in the late 1930s to treat addiction to alcohol. Since then, it has been adapted and directed towards other forms of addiction and compulsive behaviors and has been recognized by the American Psychological Foundation. Small details within each 12 step program change depending on what's being treated, but all follow the same template. While there is debate on what defines addiction, many agree that the brain becomes dependent on chemicals either imbibed (alcohol) or produced naturally through a behavior, such as sex or gambling.

The 12 Steps:

Step one is the sex addict admitting they have no power over their sex addiction and that their lives have gotten out of control. This step essentially defines a sex addiction, a situation where a person no longer can control their sexual behavior despite it causing them problems. This may sound facetious, but if a sex addict could control their behavior, they would not be an addict. Admitting powerlessness also opens the door to getting outside help. A person with a broken leg does not try to mend it on their own, they call a doctor because they do not have the skills to heal themselves. It is no different with a sex addiction.

Step two is acknowledging there is a "higher power" that can help the addict with their addiction. This and the next step may be two of the least understood, as "higher power" generally refers to God. While many going through the 12 step program turn to the Christian faith, anything can serve as the higher power. A person can look to the sun, a favorite object, anything they can mentally equate with a power above themselves. Some neurologists have said the human brain is hardwired towards religion, and because of this it can be used as a powerful tool in influencing behavior.

Prayer and meditation are Step 11 in the program. Many call prayer and meditation one and the same, but whichever route the sex addict chooses, they should set aside time each day for quiet reflection. A daily pause is used as an anchor to keep the complexities of the addict's outside world from becoming overwhelming. This step lets the sex addict remind themselves of their progress and the tools they have to fight their compulsions.

The final step is working with other sex addicts, or passing on some of the knowledge the addict has gained. The selfless side of this is ensures a pool of experienced teachers well versed in the subject matter who can perpetuate the program. The benefit to the addict doing the teaching is the same as to teacher; the one imparting the wisdom in turn learns more about what they've come to know. Having to articulate to another person what one has learned makes a person think about benefits in ways they hadn't before, and leads to greater understanding.

Those are the basic 12 steps found in addiction recovery programs. Many are closely related, but together they show a progression. It should be noted this programs not a "do these 12 things and you're cured" prescription, but at the higher levels are a lifelong set of behaviors. They may play a less active role in the recovering sex addict's life as time goes on, but the inventory, meditation, and teaching tend to be in the background for a long time.

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Swinging has become more popular than ever in recent years thanks to technology and the internet. The days of placing ads in magazines or attending shady "key parties" are long gone! Most swingers- who are often called lifestyle members or members of the swinging lifestyle- typically meet one another online, in swingers clubs, on swingers cruises or at swinger parties.

1. Finding other swingers online is one of the easiest ways to find new friends and partners. Couples and singles can place ads on various "dating" websites that are geared toward people in the swinging lifestyle. Single males often have more trouble making connections with couples than single females do simply because there are more unattached males in the swinging lifestyle than unattached females.

2. Various swingers clubs are located in most large cities. They're usually similar to traditional night clubs, but there's a twist- people attending these clubs are swingers or interested in trying out the swinging lifestyle. Some clubs are simply a meeting place where swingers can dance, drink and have fun while others offer on-site play rooms for consenting adults.

3. Swingers cruises are often arranged by travel agencies specializing in alternative lifestyles. These cruises may consist of a large group of lifestyle members that wish to take a vacation together and meet new swingers, or a "takeover" in which the entire cruise ship is reserved for lifestyle members. Some swingers reserve spots on these cruises with people they already know and others take the trip in hopes of meeting new people.

4. Swinger parties are often held at clubs, but they can also be held in private homes or at hotels. Parties are a good way for swingers to connect with others and have fun. Some of these parties involve sexual activity while others are costume parties or themed parties.

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All of us who have struggled with sexual addictions have had to face the reality of lost innocence. Whether we're recovering from addiction to pornography or other forms of sexual compulsion, a big part of recovery is facing the need to 'unlearn' our behavior. Maybe you need to quit so you can be truly intimate with your spouse, or just so you can confidently look yourself and others in the eye. Whatever the reason, until we can get all those terrible tempting thoughts under control, we will not be free of our sexual addictions. By understanding the sex drugs, getting sexual addiction help, and 'reprogramming' our sex drive, we can make great progress toward recovered innocence.

Sexual Addictions Are Drug Addictions: Porn and sex addictions are probably the most difficult addictions known to mankind, or womankind, for that matter. This is because sexual addiction is drug addiction, but the drugs are free and available any time and anywhere. All you have to do is think sexual thoughts and the sex drugs begin to flow, driving you toward a climactic release of chemicals into the blood stream. Our bodies manufacture these drugs so we'll want to reproduce. Under natural circumstances, there is nothing wrong with this drive or these chemicals. We make this process unnatural when we reprogram our sex drives toward images, sexual body parts, promiscuity or even more destructive behaviors, like bestiality or pedophilia.

Because of the chemicals involved, one of the symptoms of the addiction is developing affections for the objects of our sexual misbehavior. We chemically trick ourselves into believing we're expressing love. The addiction overpowers the normal sex drive, making natural lovemaking increasingly difficult, compelling us toward ever more deviant and destructive sexual behavior. When we understand pornography and sexual addictions are drug addictions, we're given a valuable tool for regaining control.

Stop Using The Sex Drugs: Abstinence is as powerful a tool against porn and sex addictions as it is against alcoholism and drug addictions...there really is no difference, except availability. So, though it should be no surprise, it may shock you to learn that sexual abstinence for at least a year (sometimes 2-3 years) is necessary to defeat this addiction and regain some measure of sexual innocence. This means no normal sex, no porn, no masturbation...nothing. If you're like me, it may also mean giving up movies and TV with sex scenes, commercials with partially clothed people in them, magazines and even clothing catalogs if there are underwear or bathing suit pictures. Yes, it is possible! It's just not easy! Now, after years of controlling my impulses, I can have that stuff around and even watch TV and movies with little temptation...just have to look away during some scenes and commercials. How important is it to you to overcome this addiction?

Get Help With Sexual Addiction: If recovery is important to you, getting help should be just as important. Yes, I know it's embarrassing. I've been embarrassed that way. Others will tell you what they learned in a book. I'm telling you what I learned by reading and practice, that helped me. One of the things that helped was being accountable to my wife and to others who didn't suffer from the same addiction. The power of sexual addiction is secrecy. If you reveal the secret, you leave no place for the addiction to hide. No, you don't have to advertise in the newspaper! Your spouse and one other trusted friend or counselor are usually enough as long as you're committed to being complete and honest. Failures (they will happen) need to be revealed to those you're accountable to. They should question you and forgive you as long as the frequency is decreasing. If we're dishonest or evasive about it or if the frequency is increasing, these friends should confront us strongly, to help us in the fight.

Abstinence and helpful accountability are ways to keep from doing the sexual misbehavior we've already decided we won't do. Now, what do we do with all that time and all those thoughts we've encouraged over the years? This is where 'reprogramming' comes in.

Reprogram Your Sex Drive: We thought we were just playing or engaging in fantasy, but reprogramming our sex drives took regular imagination, effort and commitment. To reprogram it to respond to the wrong behavior is easy, because the response produces an immediate reward in the form of sex drugs. Now, to reprogram our sex drives back to natural behavior requires a strong commitment and effort, with no tangible reward...just the satisfaction and self-esteem of having regained control of our bodies. How do we do this? In our minds!

All sex happens in the brain! A couple thousand years ago, a guy by the name of Jeheshua said all we have to do is think about sex and we've engaged in sex. I know that makes most of us adulterers and worse, but it points to the power we need to overcome our addiction. The moment we have a sexual thought, the chemicals begin pumping...that's how pornography works, and why we need to control the images and ideas we get from the computer, books, movies, etc. Still, there are a lot of sexual thoughts already permanently in our brains. If we've taken the time to develop an addiction, these thoughts will pop up often. So, how do we fight those thoughts?

When discussing my sexual addiction, a good friend told me, You can't keep a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest there." Reprogramming the sex drive involves chasing those birds away every time they land. We can build an arsenal of powerful good thoughts to replace the ones we're chasing away. We can pursue positive hobbies and activities that occupy our thoughts. We can listen to music, read uplifting books and volunteer our services to the community. We can collect memories and emotions we felt while looking at a tree, the sky, a waterfall, etc. These can be powerful tools to chase away sexually addictive thoughts. If you dwell on a thought, it gathers strength. If you push it out of your mind, it becomes weak. The more we force our minds to ignore sexual images and to focus on uplifting and positive thoughts, the more freedom we'll have from addiction. Those tempting images will happen less often and be far less powerful.

Well, I didn't promise it would be easy, but it is possible to overcome sexual addictions and regain much of the innocence we once had. We need a strong commitment to abstain from sexual activity, be accountable to a trusted friend and to mentally push out those tempting thoughts and images. From personal experience, I can tell you, the rewards in self-confidence and a satisfying natural sex life make the battle worthwhile.

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All of us who have struggled with sexual addictions have had to face the reality of lost innocence. Whether we're recovering from addiction to pornography or other forms of sexual compulsion, a big part of recovery is facing the need to 'unlearn' our behavior. Maybe you need to quit so you can be truly intimate with your spouse, or just so you can confidently look yourself and others in the eye. Whatever the reason, until we can get all those terrible tempting thoughts under control, we will not be free of our sexual addictions. By understanding the sex drugs, getting sexual addiction help, and 'reprogramming' our sex drive, we can make great progress toward recovered innocence.

Sexual Addictions Are Drug Addictions: Porn and sex addictions are probably the most difficult addictions known to mankind, or womankind, for that matter. This is because sexual addiction is drug addiction, but the drugs are free and available any time and anywhere. All you have to do is think sexual thoughts and the sex drugs begin to flow, driving you toward a climactic release of chemicals into the blood stream. Our bodies manufacture these drugs so we'll want to reproduce. Under natural circumstances, there is nothing wrong with this drive or these chemicals. We make this process unnatural when we reprogram our sex drives toward images, sexual body parts, promiscuity or even more destructive behaviors, like bestiality or pedophilia.

Because of the chemicals involved, one of the symptoms of the addiction is developing affections for the objects of our sexual misbehavior. We chemically trick ourselves into believing we're expressing love. The addiction overpowers the normal sex drive, making natural lovemaking increasingly difficult, compelling us toward ever more deviant and destructive sexual behavior. When we understand pornography and sexual addictions are drug addictions, we're given a valuable tool for regaining control.

Stop Using The Sex Drugs: Abstinence is as powerful a tool against porn and sex addictions as it is against alcoholism and drug addictions...there really is no difference, except availability. So, though it should be no surprise, it may shock you to learn that sexual abstinence for at least a year (sometimes 2-3 years) is necessary to defeat this addiction and regain some measure of sexual innocence. This means no normal sex, no porn, no masturbation...nothing. If you're like me, it may also mean giving up movies and TV with sex scenes, commercials with partially clothed people in them, magazines and even clothing catalogs if there are underwear or bathing suit pictures. Yes, it is possible! It's just not easy! Now, after years of controlling my impulses, I can have that stuff around and even watch TV and movies with little temptation...just have to look away during some scenes and commercials. How important is it to you to overcome this addiction?

Get Help With Sexual Addiction: If recovery is important to you, getting help should be just as important. Yes, I know it's embarrassing. I've been embarrassed that way. Others will tell you what they learned in a book. I'm telling you what I learned by reading and practice, that helped me. One of the things that helped was being accountable to my wife and to others who didn't suffer from the same addiction. The power of sexual addiction is secrecy. If you reveal the secret, you leave no place for the addiction to hide. No, you don't have to advertise in the newspaper! Your spouse and one other trusted friend or counselor are usually enough as long as you're committed to being complete and honest. Failures (they will happen) need to be revealed to those you're accountable to. They should question you and forgive you as long as the frequency is decreasing. If we're dishonest or evasive about it or if the frequency is increasing, these friends should confront us strongly, to help us in the fight.

Abstinence and helpful accountability are ways to keep from doing the sexual misbehavior we've already decided we won't do. Now, what do we do with all that time and all those thoughts we've encouraged over the years? This is where 'reprogramming' comes in.

Reprogram Your Sex Drive: We thought we were just playing or engaging in fantasy, but reprogramming our sex drives took regular imagination, effort and commitment. To reprogram it to respond to the wrong behavior is easy, because the response produces an immediate reward in the form of sex drugs. Now, to reprogram our sex drives back to natural behavior requires a strong commitment and effort, with no tangible reward...just the satisfaction and self-esteem of having regained control of our bodies. How do we do this? In our minds!

All sex happens in the brain! A couple thousand years ago, a guy by the name of Jeheshua said all we have to do is think about sex and we've engaged in sex. I know that makes most of us adulterers and worse, but it points to the power we need to overcome our addiction. The moment we have a sexual thought, the chemicals begin pumping...that's how pornography works, and why we need to control the images and ideas we get from the computer, books, movies, etc. Still, there are a lot of sexual thoughts already permanently in our brains. If we've taken the time to develop an addiction, these thoughts will pop up often. So, how do we fight those thoughts?

When discussing my sexual addiction, a good friend told me, You can't keep a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest there." Reprogramming the sex drive involves chasing those birds away every time they land. We can build an arsenal of powerful good thoughts to replace the ones we're chasing away. We can pursue positive hobbies and activities that occupy our thoughts. We can listen to music, read uplifting books and volunteer our services to the community. We can collect memories and emotions we felt while looking at a tree, the sky, a waterfall, etc. These can be powerful tools to chase away sexually addictive thoughts. If you dwell on a thought, it gathers strength. If you push it out of your mind, it becomes weak. The more we force our minds to ignore sexual images and to focus on uplifting and positive thoughts, the more freedom we'll have from addiction. Those tempting images will happen less often and be far less powerful.

Well, I didn't promise it would be easy, but it is possible to overcome sexual addictions and regain much of the innocence we once had. We need a strong commitment to abstain from sexual activity, be accountable to a trusted friend and to mentally push out those tempting thoughts and images. From personal experience, I can tell you, the rewards in self-confidence and a satisfying natural sex life make the battle worthwhile.


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