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Over the past few years, adult modeling has become a very popular choice for girls – 18 and older – aspiring to break into the modeling industry and “become a pornstar in Merseyside” as some may say. One of the main reasons for this is due to the money that can be made. It is true that these models can earn a lot of money without being over 5’10” and weighing 110 pounds, but having the right look, and making the right decisions in regards to a career path can make a huge difference between being just another face in the adult modeling crowd in Merseyside, or standing out and being a shining star.

What Exactly Is Adult escort in Merseyside?

First off, it’s important for an aspiring model to understand exactly what this type of modeling is. Simply put, Merseyside adult modeling involves posing in at least lingerie, but more often than not it involves posing topless or full nude, and even some times with graphic sexual content – known as hardcore escort modeling. While topless modeling can pay the bills with the proper set of physical gifts, it usually takes a willingness to pose full nude for a model to see any positive effects on her bank account. And then of course there is hardcore modeling which is most prominent in the adult modeling and entertainment industry in Merseyside.

An escort agency in Merseyside also gives the model a degree of respectability in the industry. They will negotiate on her behalf with photographers, producers and other adult content distributors who wish to hire her, and they will make sure all contracts are legit.

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It cannot be denied that there are people who find swinging as revolting and outrageous, especially for conservative people who do not entertain other types of relationships such as the swinging lifestyle, but some individuals are of the view that the swinging lifestyle is one of the most fun activities that couples can do. What makes it fun and interesting? What makes couples want this kind of lifestyle?

The swinging lifestyle is referred as a non-monogamous behavior, wherein couples committed to each other, concur to engross in sexual relationships with other individuals. It may come in the form of wife swapping or foursome with other couples. This means that this type of relationship is actually consented by your partner and your wife or husband also participates willingly in this intercourse.

In addition, people who engage in the swinging lifestyle are called swingers and the sexual intimacy they share with other partners is referred as swinger sex. Swingers can be found on swinger clubs and their sexual activities may also happen in these types of places. Other places this may happen is in parties, homes, or even arranged in motels or hotels.

However, in visiting a swinger club, it would be best if you and your partner attend as a stranger since there are parties and clubs wherein you can go as a mere observer. You are not primarily required to participate in a swinger club not unless you and your partner are ready for the swinging lifestyle. No one can force you into the swinging lifestyle, and it is your choice alone, and your partner's to become a part of this.

If you want to start a great swinging lifestyle in a swinger club, then it is suggested that you visit a swinger party of adult swingers or a premium swinger club, both of which pleasantly introduces you to the world of swinging. It may be strange or awkward at first that may be a normal reaction for everyone, but stick around and you may be surprised to be enjoying at the end of the night.

To know which party event you can join or what club to check out, you can conveniently look for a swinger website that features all the aspects of the swinging lifestyle. Such Web page allows you to stumble upon countless of single swingers or directly contact open-minded swinger couples.

On the whole, enjoying the swinging lifestyle in swinger clubs is appreciated by couples who want to experience fun and excitement in their relationships. In fact, numerous couples have recognized the positive revolution in their marital relationship because of this specific lifestyle.

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Aging should not hinder older adults and seniors from having an active and satisfying sex life. Contrary to what most people believe, sex is not just for young couples. Everyone desires to feel loved and receive affection. In fact, a lot of seniors continue to be sexually active even after 80 years old.

According to recent studies, more and more seniors have reported an improved sex life as they age. While the body may not be as limber as it used to be, there are still a lot of ways you can have a fulfilling and enjoyable sex life. One must pay close attention and learn how to adapt to the changing needs of your body in order to make senior sex a little more pleasurable.

Here are some tips to make senior sex more enjoyable and satisfying:

Do not rush it. Take your time

Our body changes as we age. Seniors who want to continue to be sexually active need to learn how to adapt to these changes. When it comes to becoming aroused, it still pays to be patient and to take your time. It is important to allow yourself and your partner to build the excitement. Snuggling, hugging, kissing, massaging, and caressing will help you set the mood. Remember not to rush it. Take time to create a romantic ambiance and allocate more time -lots of time for foreplay in order to make sexual intercourse more pleasurable. Remember, if you want to enjoy and be satisfied, do it nice and s-l-o-w.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

Communication is key. The more you talk to one another, the easier it is for your partner to know your feelings, expectations and desires. Tell him or her what makes you feel good in order to make sex more satisfying and enjoyable. Your partner wants to please you as well, so he or she will listen to what you like. In most cases, talking about sex and foreplay can make you feel sexy and easily turned on. So speak up, don't be shy. Be direct.

Explore and be creative

Spice it up a notch by exploring more options that can help give you more pleasure like engaging in oral sex, masturbation, using sex toys and finding new intercourse positions. Be creative and experiment with different positions until you find the ones that will please you and your partner.

Learn to adjust

Because of the aging process, having sex can be challenging. This is due to all the physical, mental and emotional changes you go through. However, learning how to adapt to these changes will help make senior sex not only easier but also more enjoyable.

Age-related changes are different for men and women. For senior men, erectile dysfunction may be a problem because of the decrease in hormone levels. If this is an issue, talk to your physician about erectile dysfunction or other erection problems to get advice and treatment. If medication is prescribed, it is important to ask about possible side effects that may affect not only your sexual relationship, but your body as well.

For senior women, vaginal dryness may be an issue. If this is the case, don't worry. There is a wide-variety of over-the-counter water-based lubricants available for purchase, including those with different scents, flavors, colors, etc. Lubricants will help relieve vaginal dryness to make sexual intercourse more comfortable and pleasurable.

Stay healthy and fit

Eating healthy and exercising regularly are key ingredients that will help seniors look younger, feel better and enjoy life even more. Health and fitness can also help improve your sex life by giving you the strength you will need to last longer during sexual intercourse.

Eat a balanced diet and include lots of fruits and vegetables in your meal. It is also important to limit your alcohol-intake as it may decrease sexual arousal. Based on research, too much alcohol may cause erectile problems for men and women may experience difficulty in reaching an orgasm.

Check with your doctor

Due to the aging process, there are a lot of things that can interfere with being sexually active. As you approach your golden years, you may experience more and more physical ailments like high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes and other medical conditions, which can make you less interested in sex.

Medications may interfere with sexual function as well. If sexual problems, including erectile dysfunction, arise due to these conditions, consult your doctor to receive proper medication. Be sure to discuss your medical condition, any prescription questions or possible medication side effects with your physician. It is advisable to take your partner when you talk to your doctor so you can both understand and learn how to resolve the your sexual circumstances together. By doing this, not only will the both of you become more understanding of each other's needs and limitations, but also sex and the relationship will become more meaningful and special.

Keep that spark alive

Spending quality time with your loved one is the best way to keep the spark alive. Try to set aside time for each other so you can do things together. Perhaps watch a movie, go out to a romantic dinner, plan a weekend getaway, or simply cuddle in bed. Try to remember the feeling when you first started dating and the things that made you fall in love with each other. These things will definitely help set the mood.

As you get older, you need to be aware and ready to adapt to the changing needs of your bodies in order to make senior sex more satisfying and enjoyable. Remember, age should not be a hindrance to having an active and satisfying sex life.

Copyright © 2009 La Dolce Living, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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We all want to have fun with the people we meet and the best way to achieve this is by adhering to good old-fashioned manners. Here are some swinger etiquette rules to live by to be sure you have the best time possible and that you'll be invited to the next party:


  • Always arrive at the party on time. Being punctual is more important at swinger parties than at most other social gatherings. If you are running behind, call and let the host know that you will be late so they can go ahead and start the party while waiting for you.


  • Arrive at and leave the party as a couple. Unless prior arrangements have been made with the host beforehand, arrive and leave the party as a couple. It is frowned upon by most hosts and other swingers at the party to leave his/her partner at the party as a single.


  • Follow parking instructions. The hosts know what they need to do to stay on good terms with surrounding neighbors, and this includes making parking arrangements. Wrongful parking and blocking traffic is not only illegal, but a good way to set the neighbors off and dissolve any good terms they previously had with the hosts.


  • Do not bring valuables. Always keep money, jewelry, and other valuables to a minimum.


  • Come clean and fresh. Take a shower, brush your teeth, shave, clip and clean your fingernails, and take care of any other personal hygiene items that need to be done. If you turn up a mess, it is not likely that you will be invited to the next party.


  • Follow the host's rules. Rules are meant for each and everyone at the party to follow to unsure that everyone will have a great time.


  • Don't be a bedroom "cruiser". If you need to open a door to see if there is a bed available for you to use, do it quietly. Do not disturb the swinging enjoyment of others by talking loudly, entering another activity without an invitation, or watching without consent. These actions are considered rude and offensive. Pulling back curtains, turning lights on, and going into private swing areas to see if you can get involved are major breaches of swinging etiquette.


  • Never bring illegal drugs and or substances. This is not only violating a basic rule of swinging etiquette, but you will subject yourself, other guests, and the hosts to prosecution for possession of illegal drugs.


  • Drink alcohol wisely. If a party is BYOB (bring your own booze), only consume what you bring. Only drink as much as your body can handle. Nothing is more disgusting than having to clean up the mess if you drink too much. It's also very embarrassing if you can't perform when sex is called for!


  • Do not eat, drink, or smoke in any non-designated area. This will not only affect others at the party, but it will also create a mess and more importantly, a fire hazard. This is one of the most violated rules of swinging etiquette, and one of the most likely to make you an unwelcome guest.


  • Do not take pictures. Taking pictures at a party can arouse strong opinions and feelings, so make sure you have specific approval from each guest before you point your camera, or else your Kodak moment might become a catastrophe.


  • Do not gossip. Do not to talk about anyone who is not present at the party. If you are discussing an experience that you were displeased with, do not talk about those who were involved in a depreciating manner. This will only cause those listening to wonder what you say about them when they're not around.


  • Do not overstay your welcome. Younger guests, especially those without children, have a tendency to hang around until dawn. Even though your hosts have gone through a lot of trouble to show you a great time, they may not always be complimented by your staying all night. If over half of the guests have left the party and you have not been specifically invited to stay longer, take that as a hint and leave.
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    While it is painful to even think about, you’ve started to have this nagging suspicion in the back of your mind that your husband may be cheating on you with an escort in Merseyside . Whether he heads out late at night to run ambiguous errands, comes back home and immediately heads to the shower, or returns home appearing to have already showered at a different location — these are the signs that led you to believe your husband may be engaging in extramarital infidelity with a Merseyside escort.

    Escort Agencies

    What is important to know with this type of activity, in general, is that seeing an escort agency in Merseyside is not usually one of the first steps of extramarital infidelity. If your husband has been, in fact, seeing an escort — there is a good chance that he has a history of unfaithfulness to one degree or another. As an example, before man would visit a local Merseyside escort, it is likely that he has a history, generally a long history, with pornography in general. In addition to viewing pornography, there is also the chance that these men have used various websites, such as married but looking websites, adult chat rooms, escort websites, and so forth, before they have actually met up with an escort agency in Merseyside .

    However, because men who visit Merseyside escort agencies oftentimes have a long history of deviance from their marital vows, online infidelity investigation services can help to uncover both the types of websites that your husband has visited as well as potentially catching them trying to solicit an escort.

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    We all want to have fun with the people we meet and the best way to achieve this is by adhering to good old-fashioned manners. Here are some swinger etiquette rules to live by to be sure you have the best time possible and that you'll be invited to the next party:


  • Always arrive at the party on time. Being punctual is more important at swinger parties than at most other social gatherings. If you are running behind, call and let the host know that you will be late so they can go ahead and start the party while waiting for you.


  • Arrive at and leave the party as a couple. Unless prior arrangements have been made with the host beforehand, arrive and leave the party as a couple. It is frowned upon by most hosts and other swingers at the party to leave his/her partner at the party as a single.


  • Follow parking instructions. The hosts know what they need to do to stay on good terms with surrounding neighbors, and this includes making parking arrangements. Wrongful parking and blocking traffic is not only illegal, but a good way to set the neighbors off and dissolve any good terms they previously had with the hosts.


  • Do not bring valuables. Always keep money, jewelry, and other valuables to a minimum.


  • Come clean and fresh. Take a shower, brush your teeth, shave, clip and clean your fingernails, and take care of any other personal hygiene items that need to be done. If you turn up a mess, it is not likely that you will be invited to the next party.


  • Follow the host's rules. Rules are meant for each and everyone at the party to follow to unsure that everyone will have a great time.


  • Don't be a bedroom "cruiser". If you need to open a door to see if there is a bed available for you to use, do it quietly. Do not disturb the swinging enjoyment of others by talking loudly, entering another activity without an invitation, or watching without consent. These actions are considered rude and offensive. Pulling back curtains, turning lights on, and going into private swing areas to see if you can get involved are major breaches of swinging etiquette.


  • Never bring illegal drugs and or substances. This is not only violating a basic rule of swinging etiquette, but you will subject yourself, other guests, and the hosts to prosecution for possession of illegal drugs.


  • Drink alcohol wisely. If a party is BYOB (bring your own booze), only consume what you bring. Only drink as much as your body can handle. Nothing is more disgusting than having to clean up the mess if you drink too much. It's also very embarrassing if you can't perform when sex is called for!


  • Do not eat, drink, or smoke in any non-designated area. This will not only affect others at the party, but it will also create a mess and more importantly, a fire hazard. This is one of the most violated rules of swinging etiquette, and one of the most likely to make you an unwelcome guest.


  • Do not take pictures. Taking pictures at a party can arouse strong opinions and feelings, so make sure you have specific approval from each guest before you point your camera, or else your Kodak moment might become a catastrophe.


  • Do not gossip. Do not to talk about anyone who is not present at the party. If you are discussing an experience that you were displeased with, do not talk about those who were involved in a depreciating manner. This will only cause those listening to wonder what you say about them when they're not around.


  • Do not overstay your welcome. Younger guests, especially those without children, have a tendency to hang around until dawn. Even though your hosts have gone through a lot of trouble to show you a great time, they may not always be complimented by your staying all night. If over half of the guests have left the party and you have not been specifically invited to stay longer, take that as a hint and leave.
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    Ever wondered what wife swapping, swinger's clubs and swingers lifestyle really mean? In a committed partnership but looking for some extra sexual excitement together?

    Swinging has become increasingly popular across middle aged mainstream married, or committed, couples. Over 4 million people world wide are swingers, with over 3000 swingers clubs around the globe to join. Swingers can also meet through online swinger's sites, swinger's personal ads, house parties and swinger's lifestyle magazines.

    "Swinging" is considered to mean a married or committed couple engaging in sexual activities with either another couple, multiple couples or with a single person. These events can occur at swingers clubs, private parties, private homes, hotels, and even at specific holiday resorts.

    Traditionally, the average age of swingers is the mid 40's, and all ages and body types are considered acceptable.

    "The Lifestyle", or the swinger's lifestyle, was created in the late 1990's in London for the well heeled under 40's. Forget the jatz and crackers. Trendy, up market venues were selected, smart evening wear was the attire and photos were needed to prove physical attractiveness. This idea took off quickly and is now popular in all parts of the world. Selective swinging refers to usually childless unmarried young graduates with average ages of late 20's. Lifestyle swinging and selective swinging both encompass all swinging activities. These terms came into use mainly because younger couples didn't care for the term swingers with its traditional connotations.

    It is thought that swinging started in the 1950's in US military bases in California. The husbands all threw their car keys in a bowl and whoever belonged to the keys that the wife pulled out had her as their sexual partner for the night. Originally, these little get togethers were called key clubs. In the late 1950's the media redubbed them wife swapping parties. Wife swapping is now considered to be an archaic term and is not entirely accurate in covering all the sexual options of swinging couples.

    For those of you who are a little shy or new to the game, there are many swingers' sites available for you to check out. Most of them cater to those looking to heat up their relationship, as well as those singles who want to mingle with like minded individuals. Some of these sites offer adult personal ads, which can include video voice and pictures. They also offer video chat rooms, speed dating, swinger club location listings, video messenger, and hot games. Some sites also offer offline swinger parties where you can take it at your own comfort level and speed.

    Swinging sexual activities include: exhibitionism, having sex with your partner while being watched, voyeurism, and watching others having sex. Soft swinging, or soft swap, is kissing, stroking or oral sex with a 3rd or 4th person. This can also include threesomes or group sex but usually partners are not swapped. A full swap means having penetrative sexual intercourse with someone other than your committed partner. The original wife swap. A full swap can also mean a committed couple having sex with a bisexual female for a saucy threesome. Group sex is an all inclusive term for multiple partners having sexual intercourse in the same room or an orgy. While the sexual activities are happening in the same room this is referred to as same room swapping. When there are separate rooms involved it is then called play.

    Planning a raunchy vacation with your partner? There are now online swinger sites catering for the couple who are into swinging holidays or nude vacations. Swingers' resorts can be found in the Caribbean, Cancun, Mexico and various parts of Europe. These resorts are designed for couples only, who enjoy erotic exciting lifestyles, and all seem to involve destinations with beautiful white sandy beaches and featuring large exotic looking swimming pools. Many of these swingers' resorts have a variety of saucy theme nights. Some of the resorts promise "non stop flat out parties" for the more active bodied person.

    Providing that the emotional bonds between the committed couple are whole, many swingers feel that their chosen lifestyle increases the strength of their partnership. In one survey, while only 6% confessed to having a problem with the green eyed monster, up to 70% of swingers claimed they had no problems with jealousy at all.

    Seeking to spice up your sex life with your significant other? This could be it! Swingers clubs, swinger sites, swinger sex, swinger's lifestyle, and swingers resort. Pack up your condoms and raunch up your relationship now!

    Have Fun, Coco Swan.

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    Steve is a professional musician. A man in his 50's, virile yet sensitive, he is sexually compulsive around fetishistic sex. Since his early teens, Steve had masturbated nearly every night before going to sleep. As he matured, his need for masturbation increased until he was masturbated five or six times a day. He found that if he did not act on these urges, he would remain "horny" all day, which would make him restless, distracted, and irritable. When asked about his masturbatory fantasies, he related that they centered on feet, stockings, worshiping at the feet of a dominant woman to whom he would avow love, and visiting professional sex workers to whom he would also confess love.

    By his mid-twenties, he was routinely acting out on these fantasies. Again, if he did not act out his sexual fantasies, he would become very uncomfortable and would be unable to focus on anything except playing music during the day. When the Internet became available, he started spending multiple hours each day surfing the net, looking for fetishistic images to which he would masturbate. Stating that he was never interested in "fucking real women", he was eager to view websites that featured feet, legs, stockings, heels and dominatrixes.

    When he would begin a romantic/sexual relationship with a woman, he would vow to stop acting out with aberrant sex to devote his attention to the girlfriend. He could, however, never bring himself to tell the "real girlfriend" he loved her. Within a few months after he began a relationship, he would lose sexual interest in his partner and the relationship would fall apart.

    At some point, he started using telephone sex services. He would enjoy having elaborate fantasy relationships with the workers and would often "fall in love" with one of them. When he had "maxed out" his credit cards, he applied for new ones and then ran them up their limits. He got behind in the rent, and the power company threatened to cut him off unless he paid his bill. Socially isolated, deeply in debt, and about to lose his job, Steve realized his preoccupation with sex was ruining his life, but he felt powerless to change his behavior. Moreover, he was fighting the urge to visit a dominatrix/transvestite which he felt was a significant increase in the level of deviance he required to achieve sexual satisfaction.

    He also was beginning to sense that pornography and phone sex no longer excited him as much as they used to. Increased levels of novelty, excitement and risk were required to achieve orgasm. At the same time he had met a woman whom he greatly admired, but for whom he had no sexual feelings despite her very real physical attractiveness. When he lost interest in her sexually and episodes of emotional intimacy would provoke anxiety, he began to examine his relationship patterns. Fearful that he was perpetuating his life-long pattern of not being able to be sexual or to have loving feelings for a real woman, he was concerned that yet another relationship would painfully fall apart. This, combined with persistent job jeopardy and chronic debt, propelled him into treatment.

    Personal History

    Steve was the youngest child in the family, with a sister who was five years his senior.

    His sister was a bit sadistic, tormenting him with teasing when he began to develop sexually. He relayed an incident wherein he had given an ID bracelet to a girlfriend and his sister confronted him about the missing bracelet at the dinner table which incited fear in him about his projection of his mother's enmeshed and hysterical reaction.

    His mother, it seemed, was the stereotypical "Jewish mother." She was adamant that he not see girls who were not Jewish (and most of his girlfriends were not). When starting treatment, Steve relayed that he had a very "loving" relationship with his mother. She would tell him that she loved him "every 10 seconds" and would incur his guilt about abandoning her whenever he made an effort to explore his interest in girls. As treatment proceeded, he began to realize that a fear of engulfment was an underlying factor about his anxiety about true intimacy and was able to connect this to his relationship to a mother who was too insecure to allow him to become his own person. He spent his childhood feeling that he could not retain a sense of himself and still maintain his relationship to mother, whom he put on a pedestal. Unable to risk his mother's emotionally abandoning him, he clocked himself in an armor of a "false self", which was a people-pleasing self. Constantly seeking validation from the outside, sexual approvable and acceptance from sex workers made him feel real, vital and alive. It defined his identity.

    His love and need for mother represented a conflict for him. At some point, he began to realize how emotionally arbitrary his mother was. He could never trust her telling him that she loved him "every 10 seconds" because she would act differently from one moment to the next, giving Steve mixed messages. What disturbed him most as a child were his mother's rage attacks, which were unpredictable and could be triggered by almost anything. Inevitably, whenever Steve would make an attempt to appropriately separate from family, his mother would rage about an unrelated event. He sometimes would feel "crazy" by his mother's enmeshment and abandonment patterns.

    Steve's father worked in the hardware store that his father (Steve's grandfather) had started and had successfully run until he sold it to cover his gambling debts. Steve's father had intended to save his money and eventually either to buy out the hardware store's current owner or else to open his own store. After many years, however, he was still working for little more than minimum wage, while the store's owner would regularly rebuke him for not having his father's knack for hardware. Steve's father was not ready to be a father when Steve was born. Steve understood that his father was planning on leaving his mother but could not bring himself to leave her with two small children. Steve came to blame himself for being responsible for holding his father in a marriage he did not want to be in. Later he realized that his father would not have had the guts to leave. Steve noted that his father never stood up for himself or for his family, and that he never stood up to Steve's mother. While his mother held Steve up on a pedestal, she, at the same time, demoralized his father with her constant belittling about his failure as a man.

    Steve's father died from a heart attack when he was 13. Steve felt nothing about the loss and when he went back to school he never told anyone about it.. About a year later, his mother was hit and killed by a bus after Steve asked her if she could walk the dog as a favor to him. He had wanted to stay home to look at internet porn and masturbate.

    Extremes of parental depravation or indulgence have devastating effects on a child, and it is not surprising to find this dynamic in the backgrounds of many sexual compulsives.

    In addition, he had a weak connection to a vulnerable father to whom he felt a guilt-inducing tie for "holding" him to a torturous marriage to a woman who loathed and belittled his manhood. There was no port in the storm for Steve; no sustaining environment where Steve could develop an arsenal of task -orienting coping strategies. Nor did he have any social connections that could have compensated for the lack of balance and consistency required for the development of a solid, adequate sense of self. Like many sexual compulsives, he sexualized his family-of-origin conflicts and developed an internal "split" to abide an unbearable childhood psychic reality.

    As an adult, he felt he lived in two worlds - not unlike a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome. There was a vacillating connection between fetishistic love objects in his fantasy world where he could express none- threatening love feelings and "real" women who were his companions and intellectual equals, although he held no erotic feelings for them. He could remain alive and vital enough to succeed at a competitive career in the music industry by remaining in a dissociated "erotic haze" which served to regulate the amount of intimacy he could tolerate. The sexually compulsive person therefore frequently alternates between the isolated and anxious clinging to both the "fantasy" love object with whom he feels safe but dehumanized, demoralized and fraudulent, and the "real" woman with whom he feels emotionally vulnerable, terrified of engulfment and de-erotized.

    In addition to a lack of self care and the repetitive, impulsive choices that result in damaging consequences to the self, the person enslaved by compulsive sexuality is ill- equipped to value, comfort, soothe, and care for his authentic self. Indeed, he has no authentic self because he has never separated from his family-of-origin. The lack of care and nurturing from a mother who only saw him as a "need-supplying object" for herself is his basic trauma and is acted out sexually as an adult.

    With this case in mind, let us pick out specifically what makes for a description of a sexually compulsive person.

    Compulsive Sexuality
    Solidifies his identity
    Feels shameful
    Is illicit, stolen, or exploitive
    Compromises values
    Draws on fear for excitement
    Reenacts childhood traumas
    Disconnects one from oneself
    Creates a world of unreality and fantasy
    Is self-destructive and dangerous
    Uses conquest or power
    Serves to medicate and kill pain
    Is dishonest
    Requires a double life
    Is grim and joyless
    Demands perfection
    Mistakes intensity for intimacy
    Requires novelty - intensity always has to be more than the last "hit"
    Gives way to self-hatred, loneliness and despair.
    Has no sexual "boundaries"
    Uses false intimacy as a way to avoid relational pain
    Preoccupation and ritualizations
    Is "doing to" someone
    Is devoid of communication
    Has no limits
    Benefits one person
    Is an uncontrollable energy
    Is emotionally distant
    Other considerations

    -Behavior leads to increasingly negative consequences but addict unable to control acting out
    -Denial of the behavior's seriousness.
    -Is the product of intense, unmet needs, coupled with the demand for perfect fulfillment and control of relational pain.
    -Demands that life provides an illusion of reassurance and predictability by getting self-centered physiological relief.
    -Is always a narcissistic endeavor - people are seen as "need-supplying objects", not as real human beings; more interested in getting than giving.
    -Is ephemeral - physical orgasm provides a welcome rush of adrenaline, but by itself can only offer the brief illusion of intimacy and belonging.
    -Sex is a conquest and abates the terrifying sense of not belonging.
    -Sexual fantasy conjures up a perfect world of nourishment, love, generosity and tenderness.
    -Are trapped in the paradox of being terrified of loneliness even as they act in ways that create further loneliness.
    -In fantasy sex, have the freedom to be vulnerable and nurtured without fear. At it's core, sexual fantasy is a worship of self.
    -Carry a sense of parental betrayal; parents unable to provide a positive role model of healthy intimacy.
    -Have no ability to regulate their emotions from within.
    -Risk relationships, financial loss, job jeopardy and physical safety.
    -Possesses a set of irrational cognitive distortions, including "Sex is my most important need"; "I am basically a bad, worthless person; no one could love me as I am;" "My needs are never going to be met if I depend on others;" "I am valuable only if I am sexualized; being sexually desired makes me feel alive;" (Patrick Carnes, Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sex Addiction)
    -Have deficits in the areas of social skills, interpersonal communication, stress control, anger management and empathy for others.
    -Learned in childhood that feelings are dangerous, so learned how to mask their feelings, even from themselves.
    -Sexual addiction is not a moral issue; it is a coping mechanism born from childhood wounding.

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    You're no stranger to block parties and birthdays, but now you're looking to throw a party with a little more of an adult theme? For wild couples, swing parties can be fun for an anniversary or special birthday, or they can be great events for you to organize regularly. So what do you have to consider? As in all sex stories, what's important are the fundamentals:

    Where to Have your Party

    • Your own home is your best bet for your party as a new host. You might be tempted to hold a party outside in warm weather- lots of space, beautiful scenery and easy cleanup. But this isn't wise unless you live VERY far away from your neighbors.
    • You may think a high fence or tall trees provide privacy, but even if your neighbors can't see you, they can still hear you! This can result in a complaint and an unfortunate police visit.
    • Attempts to hide your party attendees' sounds with loud music won't work. Those bright colorful lights you'll see aren't festive decorations, but police cars out front.
    • All this considered, it's best to keep the action inside when you start out. If you're a real beginner, you'll also want to attend a few swing parties before trying to host your own.
    • Sometimes people consider hosting as an easy way to make some money, but like most plans for fast money, it's not as simple as it looks. It's important to plan your parties well, and you're not hosting a spectator sport. In order to get along with your guests and have a good party, you should be into swinging yourself.
    The Guest List

    • In the beginning you should invite people you know from other swingers' parties and groups. You'll want to get more comfortable with hosting and more familiar with swinging before you let strangers show up.
    • Saturday night's alright for swinging- people tend to be too tired to get into it at the end of the week on Friday. It's a good idea to start promoting your party about a month in advance, and encourage people to bring people they actually know, but not friends of friends.
    • Make this rule very clear: couples only!! Single men often try to crash to take advantage of what they imagine is just one big orgy- that's not what this is about. Single men or women can cause jealousies and complications. Limiting your guest list to couples allows everyone to relax and enjoy themselves.
    What to Serve your Guests

    • It's illegal to sell alcohol without a liquor license so you can't charge for alcohol or you could be arrested. Instead, charge a fee per couple to attend and give away the food and liquor. $30 per couple is a standard charge, or you can charge a smaller fee and make it BYOB.
    • One of the first things you should establish is how many couples you can accommodate, depending on space, your comfort, and the energy you want your party to have. You can overbook by 50% because a lot of people may not show up.
    • Require that people RSVP by e-mail. This way, you'll have the e-mails of all the people who are attending so you can send them the time, date and location of the party, along with rules and any fun details of a theme if you're having one (these are common at swing parties.)
    Speaking of Rules...

    • You should say up front whether you'll allow smoking and any kind of cameras/documentation. These can make some guests uncomfortable, so they should know what they're getting into.
    • Make it clear that the party is supposed to be fun and safe for everyone, and you won't tolerate drunkenness or fighting.
    • Also, all activities will be completely consensual and no one will have to participate in anything they aren't comfortable with.

    Use these simple guidelines and you'll have your guests coming again and again!


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