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The pelvic floor is a large hammock or sling of muscles stretching from side to side across the floor of the pelvis in both women and men. It is attached to the pubic bone in front, and to the tail end of the spine behind. The openings from the bladder, the bowels and, for women, the vagina, all pass through this hammock.

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The correct anatomical name for these muscles are the pubococcygeus muscles, but nowadays they are more commonly called the pc muscles, or even more commonly, the pelvic floor muscles.

Sometimes they are referred to as a single muscle, but it is more actually more accurate to talk of them in the plural, as there are a number of muscle groups that together make up this muscle sling.

Many women are aware that they should exercise these muscles but very few do it regularly and successfully. Most women who have had children will have been advised on the importance of pelvic floor exercise to restore muscle tone after childbirth, and muscle strengthening was identified as an appropriate treatment for stress urinary incontinence back in the 1950s.

It was during the development of an exercise program for urinary incontinence that an interesting side effect was observed by Dr Arnold Kegel, the originator of these exercises. He claimed that women doing his exercises were finding it easier to reach more frequent and more intense orgasms.

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Having your own swinger house party can offer a more discreet and relaxing environment for you and the other swinging couples that you choose to invite. Organizing a swinger house party may sound very simple, but there are lots of things that must be done ahead of time to make certain that the party goes well. Here are a few tips that you might like to consider to help you prepare:

  • Ensure that your house is clean and neat.
  • If you have a pool, hot tub, or spa that you plan to use during the party, make sure that they are clean and fit for use.
  • Plan which rooms in the house will to be used for social, private, and open areas.
  • Put fresh and clean sheets on the beds in the rooms where sexual activity will take place.
  • Have plenty of clean towels ready.
  • For those who are smokers have designated areas such as the patio, garage, or a specific room for smoking purposes only.
  • Make sure you have plenty of parking spaces for your guest's cars.
  • If you have children, have them stay with friends or relatives for the duration of the party.
  • If you own a pet, put it in an unused room, garage, or outside in the garden, and don't forget to provide it with food and water.
  • Have a variety of music ready to provide a relaxing and comfortable atmosphere.
  • Use games as an icebreaker, and to ease any tension that guests may be feeling.
  • Provide some finger foods, alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks for your guests. You can also ask your guests to BYOB (bring your own booze).
  • Have extra condoms ready and available around the party for those who have forgotten to bring their own.
  • If you want to make your party more interesting, suggest a "theme" so everyone can dress up and have some fun.
  • Keep in mind that a party is supposed to be fun for you as well, so don't overwork yourself in preparing and forget to enjoy it too!
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We all want to have fun with the people we meet and the best way to achieve this is by adhering to good old-fashioned manners. Here are some swinger etiquette rules to live by to be sure you have the best time possible and that you'll be invited to the next party:


  • Always arrive at the party on time. Being punctual is more important at swinger parties than at most other social gatherings. If you are running behind, call and let the host know that you will be late so they can go ahead and start the party while waiting for you.


  • Arrive at and leave the party as a couple. Unless prior arrangements have been made with the host beforehand, arrive and leave the party as a couple. It is frowned upon by most hosts and other swingers at the party to leave his/her partner at the party as a single.


  • Follow parking instructions. The hosts know what they need to do to stay on good terms with surrounding neighbors, and this includes making parking arrangements. Wrongful parking and blocking traffic is not only illegal, but a good way to set the neighbors off and dissolve any good terms they previously had with the hosts.


  • Do not bring valuables. Always keep money, jewelry, and other valuables to a minimum.


  • Come clean and fresh. Take a shower, brush your teeth, shave, clip and clean your fingernails, and take care of any other personal hygiene items that need to be done. If you turn up a mess, it is not likely that you will be invited to the next party.


  • Follow the host's rules. Rules are meant for each and everyone at the party to follow to unsure that everyone will have a great time.


  • Don't be a bedroom "cruiser". If you need to open a door to see if there is a bed available for you to use, do it quietly. Do not disturb the swinging enjoyment of others by talking loudly, entering another activity without an invitation, or watching without consent. These actions are considered rude and offensive. Pulling back curtains, turning lights on, and going into private swing areas to see if you can get involved are major breaches of swinging etiquette.


  • Never bring illegal drugs and or substances. This is not only violating a basic rule of swinging etiquette, but you will subject yourself, other guests, and the hosts to prosecution for possession of illegal drugs.


  • Drink alcohol wisely. If a party is BYOB (bring your own booze), only consume what you bring. Only drink as much as your body can handle. Nothing is more disgusting than having to clean up the mess if you drink too much. It's also very embarrassing if you can't perform when sex is called for!


  • Do not eat, drink, or smoke in any non-designated area. This will not only affect others at the party, but it will also create a mess and more importantly, a fire hazard. This is one of the most violated rules of swinging etiquette, and one of the most likely to make you an unwelcome guest.


  • Do not take pictures. Taking pictures at a party can arouse strong opinions and feelings, so make sure you have specific approval from each guest before you point your camera, or else your Kodak moment might become a catastrophe.


  • Do not gossip. Do not to talk about anyone who is not present at the party. If you are discussing an experience that you were displeased with, do not talk about those who were involved in a depreciating manner. This will only cause those listening to wonder what you say about them when they're not around.


  • Do not overstay your welcome. Younger guests, especially those without children, have a tendency to hang around until dawn. Even though your hosts have gone through a lot of trouble to show you a great time, they may not always be complimented by your staying all night. If over half of the guests have left the party and you have not been specifically invited to stay longer, take that as a hint and leave.
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    When you hear that an experienced sex surrogate partner is inviting you to learn about intimacy, compassion and sensual caring, what does that really mean? What is a sex surrogate?

    By definition a sexual surrogate, or surrogate partner, is a professional who helps clients overcome sexual dysfunction. Most surrogates are women, a few are men and there are also married couples that practice surrogacy together. The general term of sexual surrogacy can involve varying levels of practice. Some surrogates work at counseling centers while others have their own office. Some surrogates offer additional services besides surrogacy such as telephone counseling or sexological bodywork.

    The majority of surrogates you meet will have a strong educational background and legitimate credentials, dealing with sexuality, psychology and counseling. Surrogates should always be certified in their practices; this allows them to work closely with psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists and therapists in the best interests of the client.

    [Note: Throughout this text, the client is referred to as male. Though single men do make up the majority of surrogate clients, there are also female clients and married couples who seek out surrogacy solutions together.]

    Indeed, there is a science to help sexual dysfunction. The cure is beyond just listening to a client's problems, beyond explaining the solutions, and certainly beyond sexual intimacy. A skilled sex surrogate knows that a combination of all three factors--that is talking, listening and demonstration--are necessary to truly help resolve a client's sexual problems beyond just a quick counseling session.

    What kind of specific problems are we talking about? While a surrogate deals with many different types of cases in a year's time, there are many typical problems that come up. Some are psychological; men may have trouble with intimacy, a lack of confidence, communication problems with women in general, dating anxiety and sexual inhibitions. Others are physical dysfunctions that require more particular treatment, such as impotence, premature ejaculation, or an assortment of diseases that could cause painful intercourse. Sometimes there are people who have experienced a change in lifestyle due to a disability, and a surrogate can help them explore and develop sexual potential. The term of sexual dysfunction is very broad and what methods a surrogate might use to help improve sexual function are just as varied. Simply put, treatments must be decided upon on an individual basis by a therapist. What can cure one person of a particular sexual phobia might not help someone else. Surrogates know this and therefore must have very adept social and interpersonal skills.

    This is why surrogates work closely with sex therapists. Since many sexual problems are psychological rather than physical, communication pays a key role in the process. Not only between lovers, not only between a client and his sex surrogate, but also between the surrogate and the therapist.

    What does it mean when expressions like "personal contact", "sensual caring" and "adult advice" are used? Do sexual surrogates become sexually acquainted with their clients? How is it that sexual surrogacy differs from sexual advice or even "sex coaching?"

    First of all, sexual surrogacy is not just about sex as a device. If you try and meet a certified surrogate and fictionalize a sexual problem just for your own entertainment, you're not going to get very far. Sexual surrogacy is about sexual, physical and psychological health. Remember that surrogates work closely with therapists or psychologists, ensuring that the problem is corrected and that the client makes significant progress. Instead of providing a man with a date, as would an escort agency, a surrogate would help men improve their social and dating skills, if the therapist agreed there was a problem. But surrogacy is not a sex business--it's a field of study, a professional practice, a source of sexual education.

    On the other hand, sexual surrogacy would be more intense than just regular sexual coaching. Usually coaching, or other forms of adult advice, offers only head knowledge with no real resolution of the client's problem. Frankly, coaching seems appropriate for clients that just like to talk and are not quite ready to take appropriate steps to fix the problem. A sex surrogate, in accordance with a qualified therapist, would offer therapeutic exercises to help the client. This might include showing relaxation techniques, intimate communication, teaching social skills, and some sexual touching if the surrogate and therapist feel it's necessary.

    In short, a sex surrogate is someone who helps people with their sexual problems. They don't just lend a sympathetic ear. They take action to help their clients through various sexual problems and restore a person's natural sex life to where it should be. They do this with help from a therapist, and of course, with help from the client who truly wants to make a change in his life and puts forth the effort to make those changes.