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The pelvic floor is a large hammock or sling of muscles stretching from side to side across the floor of the pelvis in both women and men. It is attached to the pubic bone in front, and to the tail end of the spine behind. The openings from the bladder, the bowels and, for women, the vagina, all pass through this hammock.

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The correct anatomical name for these muscles are the pubococcygeus muscles, but nowadays they are more commonly called the pc muscles, or even more commonly, the pelvic floor muscles.

Sometimes they are referred to as a single muscle, but it is more actually more accurate to talk of them in the plural, as there are a number of muscle groups that together make up this muscle sling.

Many women are aware that they should exercise these muscles but very few do it regularly and successfully. Most women who have had children will have been advised on the importance of pelvic floor exercise to restore muscle tone after childbirth, and muscle strengthening was identified as an appropriate treatment for stress urinary incontinence back in the 1950s.

It was during the development of an exercise program for urinary incontinence that an interesting side effect was observed by Dr Arnold Kegel, the originator of these exercises. He claimed that women doing his exercises were finding it easier to reach more frequent and more intense orgasms.

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All of us who have struggled with sexual addictions have had to face the reality of lost innocence. Whether we're recovering from addiction to pornography or other forms of sexual compulsion, a big part of recovery is facing the need to 'unlearn' our behavior. Maybe you need to quit so you can be truly intimate with your spouse, or just so you can confidently look yourself and others in the eye. Whatever the reason, until we can get all those terrible tempting thoughts under control, we will not be free of our sexual addictions. By understanding the sex drugs, getting sexual addiction help, and 'reprogramming' our sex drive, we can make great progress toward recovered innocence.

Sexual Addictions Are Drug Addictions: Porn and sex addictions are probably the most difficult addictions known to mankind, or womankind, for that matter. This is because sexual addiction is drug addiction, but the drugs are free and available any time and anywhere. All you have to do is think sexual thoughts and the sex drugs begin to flow, driving you toward a climactic release of chemicals into the blood stream. Our bodies manufacture these drugs so we'll want to reproduce. Under natural circumstances, there is nothing wrong with this drive or these chemicals. We make this process unnatural when we reprogram our sex drives toward images, sexual body parts, promiscuity or even more destructive behaviors, like bestiality or pedophilia.

Because of the chemicals involved, one of the symptoms of the addiction is developing affections for the objects of our sexual misbehavior. We chemically trick ourselves into believing we're expressing love. The addiction overpowers the normal sex drive, making natural lovemaking increasingly difficult, compelling us toward ever more deviant and destructive sexual behavior. When we understand pornography and sexual addictions are drug addictions, we're given a valuable tool for regaining control.

Stop Using The Sex Drugs: Abstinence is as powerful a tool against porn and sex addictions as it is against alcoholism and drug addictions...there really is no difference, except availability. So, though it should be no surprise, it may shock you to learn that sexual abstinence for at least a year (sometimes 2-3 years) is necessary to defeat this addiction and regain some measure of sexual innocence. This means no normal sex, no porn, no masturbation...nothing. If you're like me, it may also mean giving up movies and TV with sex scenes, commercials with partially clothed people in them, magazines and even clothing catalogs if there are underwear or bathing suit pictures. Yes, it is possible! It's just not easy! Now, after years of controlling my impulses, I can have that stuff around and even watch TV and movies with little temptation...just have to look away during some scenes and commercials. How important is it to you to overcome this addiction?

Get Help With Sexual Addiction: If recovery is important to you, getting help should be just as important. Yes, I know it's embarrassing. I've been embarrassed that way. Others will tell you what they learned in a book. I'm telling you what I learned by reading and practice, that helped me. One of the things that helped was being accountable to my wife and to others who didn't suffer from the same addiction. The power of sexual addiction is secrecy. If you reveal the secret, you leave no place for the addiction to hide. No, you don't have to advertise in the newspaper! Your spouse and one other trusted friend or counselor are usually enough as long as you're committed to being complete and honest. Failures (they will happen) need to be revealed to those you're accountable to. They should question you and forgive you as long as the frequency is decreasing. If we're dishonest or evasive about it or if the frequency is increasing, these friends should confront us strongly, to help us in the fight.

Abstinence and helpful accountability are ways to keep from doing the sexual misbehavior we've already decided we won't do. Now, what do we do with all that time and all those thoughts we've encouraged over the years? This is where 'reprogramming' comes in.

Reprogram Your Sex Drive: We thought we were just playing or engaging in fantasy, but reprogramming our sex drives took regular imagination, effort and commitment. To reprogram it to respond to the wrong behavior is easy, because the response produces an immediate reward in the form of sex drugs. Now, to reprogram our sex drives back to natural behavior requires a strong commitment and effort, with no tangible reward...just the satisfaction and self-esteem of having regained control of our bodies. How do we do this? In our minds!

All sex happens in the brain! A couple thousand years ago, a guy by the name of Jeheshua said all we have to do is think about sex and we've engaged in sex. I know that makes most of us adulterers and worse, but it points to the power we need to overcome our addiction. The moment we have a sexual thought, the chemicals begin pumping...that's how pornography works, and why we need to control the images and ideas we get from the computer, books, movies, etc. Still, there are a lot of sexual thoughts already permanently in our brains. If we've taken the time to develop an addiction, these thoughts will pop up often. So, how do we fight those thoughts?

When discussing my sexual addiction, a good friend told me, You can't keep a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest there." Reprogramming the sex drive involves chasing those birds away every time they land. We can build an arsenal of powerful good thoughts to replace the ones we're chasing away. We can pursue positive hobbies and activities that occupy our thoughts. We can listen to music, read uplifting books and volunteer our services to the community. We can collect memories and emotions we felt while looking at a tree, the sky, a waterfall, etc. These can be powerful tools to chase away sexually addictive thoughts. If you dwell on a thought, it gathers strength. If you push it out of your mind, it becomes weak. The more we force our minds to ignore sexual images and to focus on uplifting and positive thoughts, the more freedom we'll have from addiction. Those tempting images will happen less often and be far less powerful.

Well, I didn't promise it would be easy, but it is possible to overcome sexual addictions and regain much of the innocence we once had. We need a strong commitment to abstain from sexual activity, be accountable to a trusted friend and to mentally push out those tempting thoughts and images. From personal experience, I can tell you, the rewards in self-confidence and a satisfying natural sex life make the battle worthwhile.

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There will always be plenty to do at any swinger house party you are invited to. It could be as casual as just chatting and mingling among different couples while you have a few drinks by the pool or hot tub. If things get really hot there will be plenty of opportunities for you to get involved sexually in one of the empty bedrooms set aside for sexual play, or maybe even join in on an orgy, which is bound to happen at every party. Your host will explain anything that is unique to their party, and will usually be very willing to introduce you around to the other guests.

At some point in a conversation with another couple, or even a single man or woman, you might be asked "Would you like to go off to one of the rooms?" or "Would you like to play?" You are absolutely allowed to say no. In fact, respecting someone's no is a cardinal rule. A polite "no thank you" is perfectly acceptable, and you are never required to give an explanation. Because bi-curious and bi-sexual women are very common in the Swinging Lifestyle, you might wind up talking to a couple where they both ask your wife or girlfriend to go off to one of the rooms to play. You should both decide how you want to deal with that ahead of time. If you do accept their invitation, she should make it clear whether she expects to play with both of them or just him.

A common occurrence that takes place at private house parties that your wife should be cautious of is the possibility of someone uninvited touching her when she is with someone else. If she does not say anything and just tries to ignore it, the other party will assume that it is an invitation. Instead of ignoring it she can move their hand, shake her head no, or just tell them she wants to be alone. Of course, if she feels uncomfortable doing any of these things, you can always do it for her. They will go away and then she can go back to concentrating on what she was doing. If you want to go to one of the rooms for a private party, avoid the rooms with several beds together. Although the right of refusal always applies, because these are usually known as the group or orgy rooms, you can expect that others will want to join in on the action.

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There will always be plenty to do at any swinger house party you are invited to. It could be as casual as just chatting and mingling among different couples while you have a few drinks by the pool or hot tub. If things get really hot there will be plenty of opportunities for you to get involved sexually in one of the empty bedrooms set aside for sexual play, or maybe even join in on an orgy, which is bound to happen at every party. Your host will explain anything that is unique to their party, and will usually be very willing to introduce you around to the other guests.

At some point in a conversation with another couple, or even a single man or woman, you might be asked "Would you like to go off to one of the rooms?" or "Would you like to play?" You are absolutely allowed to say no. In fact, respecting someone's no is a cardinal rule. A polite "no thank you" is perfectly acceptable, and you are never required to give an explanation. Because bi-curious and bi-sexual women are very common in the Swinging Lifestyle, you might wind up talking to a couple where they both ask your wife or girlfriend to go off to one of the rooms to play. You should both decide how you want to deal with that ahead of time. If you do accept their invitation, she should make it clear whether she expects to play with both of them or just him.

A common occurrence that takes place at private house parties that your wife should be cautious of is the possibility of someone uninvited touching her when she is with someone else. If she does not say anything and just tries to ignore it, the other party will assume that it is an invitation. Instead of ignoring it she can move their hand, shake her head no, or just tell them she wants to be alone. Of course, if she feels uncomfortable doing any of these things, you can always do it for her. They will go away and then she can go back to concentrating on what she was doing. If you want to go to one of the rooms for a private party, avoid the rooms with several beds together. Although the right of refusal always applies, because these are usually known as the group or orgy rooms, you can expect that others will want to join in on the action.