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While it is painful to even think about, you’ve started to have this nagging suspicion in the back of your mind that your husband may be cheating on you with an escort in Rochdale . Whether he heads out late at night to run ambiguous errands, comes back home and immediately heads to the shower, or returns home appearing to have already showered at a different location — these are the signs that led you to believe your husband may be engaging in extramarital infidelity with a Rochdale escort.
What is important to know with this type of activity, in general, is that seeing an escort agency in Rochdale is not usually one of the first steps of extramarital infidelity. If your husband has been, in fact, seeing an escort — there is a good chance that he has a history of unfaithfulness to one degree or another. As an example, before man would visit a local Rochdale escort, it is likely that he has a history, generally a long history, with pornography in general. In addition to viewing pornography, there is also the chance that these men have used various websites, such as married but looking websites, adult chat rooms, escort websites, and so forth, before they have actually met up with an escort agency in Rochdale .
However, because men who visit Rochdale escort agencies oftentimes have a long history of deviance from their marital vows, online infidelity investigation services can help to uncover both the types of websites that your husband has visited as well as potentially catching them trying to solicit an escort.
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All of us who have struggled with sexual addictions have had to face the reality of lost innocence. Whether we're recovering from addiction to pornography or other forms of sexual compulsion, a big part of recovery is facing the need to 'unlearn' our behavior. Maybe you need to quit so you can be truly intimate with your spouse, or just so you can confidently look yourself and others in the eye. Whatever the reason, until we can get all those terrible tempting thoughts under control, we will not be free of our sexual addictions. By understanding the sex drugs, getting sexual addiction help, and 'reprogramming' our sex drive, we can make great progress toward recovered innocence.
Sexual Addictions Are Drug Addictions: Porn and sex addictions are probably the most difficult addictions known to mankind, or womankind, for that matter. This is because sexual addiction is drug addiction, but the drugs are free and available any time and anywhere. All you have to do is think sexual thoughts and the sex drugs begin to flow, driving you toward a climactic release of chemicals into the blood stream. Our bodies manufacture these drugs so we'll want to reproduce. Under natural circumstances, there is nothing wrong with this drive or these chemicals. We make this process unnatural when we reprogram our sex drives toward images, sexual body parts, promiscuity or even more destructive behaviors, like bestiality or pedophilia.
Because of the chemicals involved, one of the symptoms of the addiction is developing affections for the objects of our sexual misbehavior. We chemically trick ourselves into believing we're expressing love. The addiction overpowers the normal sex drive, making natural lovemaking increasingly difficult, compelling us toward ever more deviant and destructive sexual behavior. When we understand pornography and sexual addictions are drug addictions, we're given a valuable tool for regaining control.
Stop Using The Sex Drugs: Abstinence is as powerful a tool against porn and sex addictions as it is against alcoholism and drug addictions...there really is no difference, except availability. So, though it should be no surprise, it may shock you to learn that sexual abstinence for at least a year (sometimes 2-3 years) is necessary to defeat this addiction and regain some measure of sexual innocence. This means no normal sex, no porn, no masturbation...nothing. If you're like me, it may also mean giving up movies and TV with sex scenes, commercials with partially clothed people in them, magazines and even clothing catalogs if there are underwear or bathing suit pictures. Yes, it is possible! It's just not easy! Now, after years of controlling my impulses, I can have that stuff around and even watch TV and movies with little temptation...just have to look away during some scenes and commercials. How important is it to you to overcome this addiction?
Get Help With Sexual Addiction: If recovery is important to you, getting help should be just as important. Yes, I know it's embarrassing. I've been embarrassed that way. Others will tell you what they learned in a book. I'm telling you what I learned by reading and practice, that helped me. One of the things that helped was being accountable to my wife and to others who didn't suffer from the same addiction. The power of sexual addiction is secrecy. If you reveal the secret, you leave no place for the addiction to hide. No, you don't have to advertise in the newspaper! Your spouse and one other trusted friend or counselor are usually enough as long as you're committed to being complete and honest. Failures (they will happen) need to be revealed to those you're accountable to. They should question you and forgive you as long as the frequency is decreasing. If we're dishonest or evasive about it or if the frequency is increasing, these friends should confront us strongly, to help us in the fight.
Abstinence and helpful accountability are ways to keep from doing the sexual misbehavior we've already decided we won't do. Now, what do we do with all that time and all those thoughts we've encouraged over the years? This is where 'reprogramming' comes in.
Reprogram Your Sex Drive: We thought we were just playing or engaging in fantasy, but reprogramming our sex drives took regular imagination, effort and commitment. To reprogram it to respond to the wrong behavior is easy, because the response produces an immediate reward in the form of sex drugs. Now, to reprogram our sex drives back to natural behavior requires a strong commitment and effort, with no tangible reward...just the satisfaction and self-esteem of having regained control of our bodies. How do we do this? In our minds!
All sex happens in the brain! A couple thousand years ago, a guy by the name of Jeheshua said all we have to do is think about sex and we've engaged in sex. I know that makes most of us adulterers and worse, but it points to the power we need to overcome our addiction. The moment we have a sexual thought, the chemicals begin pumping...that's how pornography works, and why we need to control the images and ideas we get from the computer, books, movies, etc. Still, there are a lot of sexual thoughts already permanently in our brains. If we've taken the time to develop an addiction, these thoughts will pop up often. So, how do we fight those thoughts?
When discussing my sexual addiction, a good friend told me, You can't keep a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest there." Reprogramming the sex drive involves chasing those birds away every time they land. We can build an arsenal of powerful good thoughts to replace the ones we're chasing away. We can pursue positive hobbies and activities that occupy our thoughts. We can listen to music, read uplifting books and volunteer our services to the community. We can collect memories and emotions we felt while looking at a tree, the sky, a waterfall, etc. These can be powerful tools to chase away sexually addictive thoughts. If you dwell on a thought, it gathers strength. If you push it out of your mind, it becomes weak. The more we force our minds to ignore sexual images and to focus on uplifting and positive thoughts, the more freedom we'll have from addiction. Those tempting images will happen less often and be far less powerful.
Well, I didn't promise it would be easy, but it is possible to overcome sexual addictions and regain much of the innocence we once had. We need a strong commitment to abstain from sexual activity, be accountable to a trusted friend and to mentally push out those tempting thoughts and images. From personal experience, I can tell you, the rewards in self-confidence and a satisfying natural sex life make the battle worthwhile.
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Recovering from a sex addiction requires adhering to a 12 step program. Such programs have become synonymous with people's efforts to change their lives and behaviors, and have been applied to everything including over-eating, sex, compulsive gambling, and drug addiction.
The original 12 step program was published by Alcoholics Anonymous in the late 1930s to treat addiction to alcohol. Since then, it has been adapted and directed towards other forms of addiction and compulsive behaviors and has been recognized by the American Psychological Foundation. Small details within each 12 step program change depending on what's being treated, but all follow the same template. While there is debate on what defines addiction, many agree that the brain becomes dependent on chemicals either imbibed (alcohol) or produced naturally through a behavior, such as sex or gambling.
The 12 Steps:
Step one is the sex addict admitting they have no power over their sex addiction and that their lives have gotten out of control. This step essentially defines a sex addiction, a situation where a person no longer can control their sexual behavior despite it causing them problems. This may sound facetious, but if a sex addict could control their behavior, they would not be an addict. Admitting powerlessness also opens the door to getting outside help. A person with a broken leg does not try to mend it on their own, they call a doctor because they do not have the skills to heal themselves. It is no different with a sex addiction.
Step two is acknowledging there is a "higher power" that can help the addict with their addiction. This and the next step may be two of the least understood, as "higher power" generally refers to God. While many going through the 12 step program turn to the Christian faith, anything can serve as the higher power. A person can look to the sun, a favorite object, anything they can mentally equate with a power above themselves. Some neurologists have said the human brain is hardwired towards religion, and because of this it can be used as a powerful tool in influencing behavior.
Prayer and meditation are Step 11 in the program. Many call prayer and meditation one and the same, but whichever route the sex addict chooses, they should set aside time each day for quiet reflection. A daily pause is used as an anchor to keep the complexities of the addict's outside world from becoming overwhelming. This step lets the sex addict remind themselves of their progress and the tools they have to fight their compulsions.
The final step is working with other sex addicts, or passing on some of the knowledge the addict has gained. The selfless side of this is ensures a pool of experienced teachers well versed in the subject matter who can perpetuate the program. The benefit to the addict doing the teaching is the same as to teacher; the one imparting the wisdom in turn learns more about what they've come to know. Having to articulate to another person what one has learned makes a person think about benefits in ways they hadn't before, and leads to greater understanding.
Those are the basic 12 steps found in addiction recovery programs. Many are closely related, but together they show a progression. It should be noted this programs not a "do these 12 things and you're cured" prescription, but at the higher levels are a lifelong set of behaviors. They may play a less active role in the recovering sex addict's life as time goes on, but the inventory, meditation, and teaching tend to be in the background for a long time.
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Ever wondered what wife swapping, swinger's clubs and swingers lifestyle really mean? In a committed partnership but looking for some extra sexual excitement together?
Swinging has become increasingly popular across middle aged mainstream married, or committed, couples. Over 4 million people world wide are swingers, with over 3000 swingers clubs around the globe to join. Swingers can also meet through online swinger's sites, swinger's personal ads, house parties and swinger's lifestyle magazines.
"Swinging" is considered to mean a married or committed couple engaging in sexual activities with either another couple, multiple couples or with a single person. These events can occur at swingers clubs, private parties, private homes, hotels, and even at specific holiday resorts.
Traditionally, the average age of swingers is the mid 40's, and all ages and body types are considered acceptable.
"The Lifestyle", or the swinger's lifestyle, was created in the late 1990's in London for the well heeled under 40's. Forget the jatz and crackers. Trendy, up market venues were selected, smart evening wear was the attire and photos were needed to prove physical attractiveness. This idea took off quickly and is now popular in all parts of the world. Selective swinging refers to usually childless unmarried young graduates with average ages of late 20's. Lifestyle swinging and selective swinging both encompass all swinging activities. These terms came into use mainly because younger couples didn't care for the term swingers with its traditional connotations.
It is thought that swinging started in the 1950's in US military bases in California. The husbands all threw their car keys in a bowl and whoever belonged to the keys that the wife pulled out had her as their sexual partner for the night. Originally, these little get togethers were called key clubs. In the late 1950's the media redubbed them wife swapping parties. Wife swapping is now considered to be an archaic term and is not entirely accurate in covering all the sexual options of swinging couples.
For those of you who are a little shy or new to the game, there are many swingers' sites available for you to check out. Most of them cater to those looking to heat up their relationship, as well as those singles who want to mingle with like minded individuals. Some of these sites offer adult personal ads, which can include video voice and pictures. They also offer video chat rooms, speed dating, swinger club location listings, video messenger, and hot games. Some sites also offer offline swinger parties where you can take it at your own comfort level and speed.
Swinging sexual activities include: exhibitionism, having sex with your partner while being watched, voyeurism, and watching others having sex. Soft swinging, or soft swap, is kissing, stroking or oral sex with a 3rd or 4th person. This can also include threesomes or group sex but usually partners are not swapped. A full swap means having penetrative sexual intercourse with someone other than your committed partner. The original wife swap. A full swap can also mean a committed couple having sex with a bisexual female for a saucy threesome. Group sex is an all inclusive term for multiple partners having sexual intercourse in the same room or an orgy. While the sexual activities are happening in the same room this is referred to as same room swapping. When there are separate rooms involved it is then called play.
Planning a raunchy vacation with your partner? There are now online swinger sites catering for the couple who are into swinging holidays or nude vacations. Swingers' resorts can be found in the Caribbean, Cancun, Mexico and various parts of Europe. These resorts are designed for couples only, who enjoy erotic exciting lifestyles, and all seem to involve destinations with beautiful white sandy beaches and featuring large exotic looking swimming pools. Many of these swingers' resorts have a variety of saucy theme nights. Some of the resorts promise "non stop flat out parties" for the more active bodied person.
Providing that the emotional bonds between the committed couple are whole, many swingers feel that their chosen lifestyle increases the strength of their partnership. In one survey, while only 6% confessed to having a problem with the green eyed monster, up to 70% of swingers claimed they had no problems with jealousy at all.
Seeking to spice up your sex life with your significant other? This could be it! Swingers clubs, swinger sites, swinger sex, swinger's lifestyle, and swingers resort. Pack up your condoms and raunch up your relationship now!
Have Fun, Coco Swan.
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Have you ever wondered what Swinging really is? There are a lot of misconceptions out there to what swinging actually entails, so let's go over a few of the finer points to this time-honored trysting tradition.
Swinging is social and sexual intercourse with someone other than your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. It can occur in a private residence, at a party or with a third person in a threesome. These couples like having sex with other people as well as, and along with, their regular partner. They can also get off on watching their partner have sex with someone else, like sharing their fantasies with their partner and other people or just enjoy having sex with lots of people.
Also known as sharing, partner or wife swapping, it basically comes down to the fact that people involved in the swinging lifestyle are consenting adults enjoying the experience of having sexual relationships with multiple partners. You can find swinging communities throughout the world - this is an activity that knows no cultural boundaries!
Here are a few of the situations and terms that couples look for when looking to swing with other partners:
- Meeting a single guy or girl: Although it's much easier to find a single man who wants to join in on your arrangement, there are always some adventuresome single gals out there who love to be the third wheel in a relationship. The easiest way to meet a single to join your group is on the Internet (using a dating site that caters to sexually adventurous people) or at speciality swinging clubs. Some clubs don't allow single guys through their doors, but they do love the single ladies.
- Swingers' parties and clubs: If you live in a large urban center, you can be sure that there's a party going on near you. To find them, Google your area for a local swingers' community and start posting on their wall or blog posts. These websites cater to a tight knit group of trusted couples, so it may take a while to become part of the gang. When you do find a party, ask what the policy is for new comers, or what the activities will take place at the party. Some venues have different kinds of parties on different nights, so make sure you are aware of the type of party you will be going to.
- Greedy girls: Now this is a cool kind of party, which involves a gathering up to about 6 girls and as many as 75 men (hence the name).
- Swinger Spa: This is much like a Greedy Girls party, though most have a couples' only area where you can get some action.